I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
