Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
