clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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