She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Vodka?
Forever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize