My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
