At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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