OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
