Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She needs sedatives and a leash
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
