i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
