I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
