Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
