An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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