my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize