Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
