no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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