i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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