You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
