we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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