You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
