Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
