so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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