You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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