its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
