The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
