I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
