she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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