Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
