Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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