I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
