so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
