big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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