it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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