You just made me feel so damn special
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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