Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
