Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
