His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
