Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
