I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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