What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
