I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
