I don't think brook has ever known best
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize