My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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