I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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