Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
