New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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