She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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