The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
