I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We have so much sex to catch up on
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
