guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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