I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
