my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
