she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
