just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
