sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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