she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
