I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
