We're facebook friends in real life
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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