Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
