I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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