none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize